Snowy Meditations

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Why do vacations matter? 

Well from a physical stand point your body needs to de-frag. Or what the rest of the world calls release some stress. Breath deep and just chill. If you never give your body a chance to really unwind then you are in a constant state of stress. This just continues to build making your body susceptible to colds, sickness in general, physical pain like muscle fatigue, exhaustion  adrenal fatigue, and just general blahness. Really do you need more of a reason for a vacation?

Well here’s one:

Mental clarity.

We’re living in an age with more and more people are soul searching. People are looking to be better. I’m so happy to see this change slowly coming. While I know i won’t get to see the world change in my lifetime I certainly hope to see more people live with out fear. To live through love. Mostly to live in comfort with themselves and their surroundings.

During my vacation I found a little low grade anxiety that has been running in the back of my mind for a few years now. This isn’t something that wakes me up at night. Well not all the time. But having something in the back of my mind takes up valuable space and messes with my stress levels since they can never really come down. As I was sitting in the snow letting the sun hit my face the answer to this stress hit me. I felt my shoulders lighten in a way that I haven’t felt in years.

This my friends is all the reason one needs to take a vacation. To connect to your inner sense of self that you just can’t get to at home. Even those little mini vacations a half day at the spa for instance still doesn’t get your phone out of the building. It may be on silent (and it better be if you’re at Olympic Day Spa when I’m there;) but it’s still there, in the back of your mind. You still reach for it and check it before you leave the building. I’m talking a vacation where your phone is in your room back at the lodge and you’re miles away. Where you don’t even bother to check it that night cause you’re on vacation. That kind of getting back to yourself.

I sat in silence with my friend on the lake and just breathed. If you want to finish reading right now feel free. If you’d like to know what my stress was and my realization then read on:

I moved a lot as a kid. I don’t really have any place I call home. I’ve lived the longest in two places almost exactly the same length of time. One is high school, I don’t really talk to anyone from that time of my life. Sure I’ve got a facebook friend or two from then but no one I keep in regular contact with. The other is after college living in Brooklyn. I’ve got friends from then that now live in LA and we see each other and a very regular basis. We’re opening a studio together in fact. One of those friends sits on my Board of Directors for my Retreat Business that I’m building. So when some one asks where I’m from of course I say Brooklyn. It’s my only past that I still have a connection to. 

But I’ve lived in many places, Pittsburgh, Israel, Greece, San Diego, Summit County Colorado… to name some of the biggies. I get homesick for them all. I hike in LA and the smell of mountain sage puts me right back in Israel like I never left. Pang of homesickness. I watch a movie set in NYC and boom straight to the heart. You get my drift. So up until the last few years I assumed I’d get married and my partner would have a home town or we would pick a place together. A few years ago when I was still single I thought well self guess you’d better just pick a place you like and call it home. You’ll find some one there. But I can’t pick a place. The low level of anxiety, where should I put down roots? Where do I call home? Was always running in the back ground. Maybe I should get out of the city, head up to CO and enjoy the quiet, maybe I should stay in Downtown LA and live in the thick of things.

Out on that frozen lake I realized those thoughts weren’t serving me at all. I’m in no position to buy right now, so it doesn’t matter. In fact I’ll always call the world my home. No one place will ever be mine the way it is for others. That’s ok. I can have two time shares and live in two towns, I can live where ever the wind takes me. I don’t have to pick. When the time comes some place will pick me. With that slap to the face realization I let go of all of it. 

I’m proud to have lived such a vast life in my 32 years on the plant. It’s taught me more than any school could. I’m thankful my parents encouraged me to travel and live life. I’m thrilled that my mom and dad don’t think I wasted my 20’s by skipping the country at every opportunity. In fact they scraped everything they could to put me on a plane for europe at 16. Now, I’ll live where ever I’m sleeping. When I’ve had enough and it’s time to set up a home, I will. Where ever I feel like it. The only permanence I need is good friends, love, and laughter. Fortunately for me I’ve got those all over the world.


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