The lemons I’m bringing up take place over a course of a few years, some aren’t very recent. The further we get down this road of exposure the more recent the lemons. Tho with life things tend to overlap and re occur. For instance. Money.
I’m sure you have all dealt with money issues. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t or isn’t currently. There are a few people I’ve met to happen to really like their job and it just so happens to be something at a company they got into right after college. They will never leave and will always have a comfy life. I fully admit to envy. If the Catholics are right and I end up in hell it will be for the sin of envy.
I work on this just like everyone works on something. I know that I have lived a life worth envying just as much as I envy others. This is fairly normal I think.
I worked 8 days a week for a few years trying to support more than myself. I was exhausted as you can imagine. I didn’t take days off. I worked holidays. I often went from one job in the day to one in the night. I wasn’t getting ahead either. In fact I was going into debt. There were just too many things. The oil system in my partners car blew up (that’s the technical term I think). The cat’s eye for no reason swelled up and took months of expensive treatment to deal with. My back tooth broke and of course with no insurance the first dentist did such a bad job that I had to have a root canal (that I got in Mexico) and a new tooth built in (here in the States). I was in pain for years with one tooth. I’ve had 4 crowns and had the pleasure of paying for all of them out of pocket. Go ahead and look that up. The last one was gold… These are the over $2000 a pop things. Then the medium things like new brakes cause mine went out on the freeway (terrifying and costly) $500… I can’t even begin to list the little things that my literal blood, sweat, and tears went to that seemed like slaps to the face with the occasional punch from the Universe.
Eventually at 30 I had to ask my parents for help for the first time. Humiliating.
The next year tax time rolled around. Come to find out that since I was working at some many different places but none of them enough hours ‘to count’ no one took taxes out. I owed… a lot. I ended up at the bottom of my shower sobbing. I had been single for a year. I was way in over my head in debt, the few dates I went on the person who took me out got shit faced drunk. I was working so hard to go backwards that I just didn’t know what to do and while I was actively trying to change my life it seemed like nothing was changing.
In fact it felt like the Universe was trying to keep me smashed down laying in the tub with the shower on sobbing.
I simply couldn’t catch a break. Every time I would look at my account and think ok, I’ve made it this month I could even put $50 in the savings. I could start a tiny buffer and then start repaying my parents something else would come up. Every. Single. Time.
Now I know that I’m not alone on this one. Many of you have struggled with money. It’s the end of many a relationship. It’s the root of all evil, but I’ll tell you I envy those that seem to just put out their hand and money falls into it. Like I said, I’m working on the envy thing… still.
I started to stabilize. I thought I had a plan, and a solid income. I had worked out how to repay who, in what order and how much. I was still working 100 hour weeks but I was making money and starting to dig myself out of the hole. When all of a sudden half my income was gone. The studio I was teaching at wasn’t making ends meet. In less than a month it was closed. I had just kicked off Clean Dinners. I was hoping it would have time to build up, I was opening my Catalyst Coaching biz but I was just starting out. Nothing was making money yet, in fact the businesses were at the costing me money stage. I was back in the shower.
With that I will end my Money Lemon cause it just leads to a ton of swearing.
Money – Always a Lemon To The Face